


butterfly effect

by orphan_account



Category: VIXX
Genre: Butterfly Effect, Multi, purple origami butterflies for the win!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24056020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: every action has consequences.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Lee Hongbin, Jung Taekwoon | Leo/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	butterfly effect

the morning started slowly.

the street lights turned off, essential workers and parents started their routines before the sun peaked above the hills of towering trees, birds did sweet calls to acknowledge the new day, even the skies stopped their temporary cries upon the earth below.

hakyeon sipped his coffee and grabbed the newspaper his mother had brought home before she left for her weekend trip before grabbing a muffin, taking a small bite as he headed back to his bedroom. taekwoon jogged back to his car with a cup holder full of coffee cups and a paper bag full of donuts, setting the items down once he got inside and checking his reflection in the rearview mirror. wonshik checked his social media feed as he wandered around his partially messy kitchen, sipping a glass of cold water to try and help with his headache. sanghyuk was still out cold, buried in his comforter and microfiber pillows and stuffed animals. kyungsoo was getting into his usual headspace, rolling his shoulders as he stared himself down in his bedroom mirror. jaehwan hugged his knees closer to his chest as he shivered on top of his car, hair fluttering in the cold wind and fresh tears rolling down his cheeks as he weighed his very few options. hongbin nuzzled into his pillow, light filtering through his curtains, a lone purple origami butterfly made by his little sister resting next to him as he slept soundly. there was a board with endless photos of him and his best friends on the wall, expensive makeup resting inside his vanity, a large desk full of pens and pencils and other art tools, one black line drawn in marker on the threshold of his bedroom, natural blues and greens adorning almost everything he owned. his room was his sanctuary, but the morning was calling.

his alarm went off at exactly six-thirty, the first few beats of mr. brightside disrupting the total silence of the second floor of his home to remind him he had to get up for school. a text from taekwoon quickly flashed across the screen, _rise and shine! happy valentine’s day binbin! <3, _ and hongbin shifted before his eyes fluttered open slowly. he unplugged his phone and sat up with a tired smile as he read the message. hongbin loved taekwoon with all his heart, he was the best friend he could ever ask for. they’d been through the woods together more times than he could count.

a glance over his shoulder exposed the butterfly and hongbin’s brow furrowed as he picked it up, observed it, and tossed it disinterestedly. belle was always leaving her little creations in his space. while they were cute, hongbin did not care much for them. they were more of a waste of paper to him than anything. he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair as he fell back against his pillows, grinning foolishly.

hongbin mentally sorted through his closet, trying to decide what to wear as he brushed his teeth, washed his face, and combed his hair. fifteen minutes later he was latching the last two clips of his fitted navy blue dress together, black stockings were hugging his legs, boots clicking as he hastily made for the stairs because taekwoon was waiting and if he didn’t hurry up he was going to come inside and drag him out by his ear. he’d done it before. hongbin pulled his curls into a messy bun and paused at a mirror after descending the stairs to pull a few strands free, nodding once he deemed himself ready to head out. his parents were moving around the kitchen and speaking softly, belle was sitting at the table in her favorite yellow pajamas and coloring as she hummed a little tune. everyone looked up when he entered the room, he didn’t speak to anyone as he grabbed his favorite leather jacket and backpack.

“hey, do you want some coffee?” his father asked.

“no thanks!” hongbin responded, already halfway out the front door as belle shot up to follow him.

“are you sure?”

“i’m sure! gotta go taekwoon’s waiting for me!”

“bin! did you see the butterfly i put on your bed?!” she asked, trailing so close behind hongbin she was practically stepping on the back of his shoes. “did you like it?!”

“mhm.” hongbin hummed, stuffing his house keys in his pocket and heading out the door once belle ran back to the kitchen table.

so close yet so far.

“hongbin!”

“what?” he sighed, turning around to face his little sister. belle looked hurt for a moment but then her face lit up and she waved hongbin’s gloves up at him.

“you forgot these!” she chirped, feeling accomplished for helping her big brother.

“belle, please don’t touch my stuff. we’ve talked about this.” hongbin took the gloves and stuffed them into his backpack, turning and continuing on his path to the front steps.

“but-“

“don’t touch my stuff!”

“belle! get back in here! it’s cold!” hongbin’s mother called from the kitchen and hongbin waved behind himself to indicate his goodbye.

hongbin tried but failed to hold back his smile as he approached his best friend, leaning against his station wagon and texting with a bored expression. he quirked an eyebrow once he finally glanced up at hongbin.

“finally! you had approximately sixty seconds before i came in there after you.”

“good morning to you too!”

“hush and get in the car before i make your mom bring you to school.” taekwoon cooed, moving off of the passenger door and crossing over to the driver's side of the car.

the rain started coming down again, taekwoon tugging on the back of his beanie as he drove to sanghyuk’s house. they called it the mansion, actually. it was huge, iron fence gating around the large yard and everything. hongbin was lost in his thoughts, fiddling with his coffee cup as he started at the beautiful sky.

“oh shit here he comes...” taekwoon said.

“i will not be depressed on cupid day.” sanghyuk grumbled, black bangs moving against his forehead as he got in the backseat and tugged his turtleneck up. he hated the cold he hated valentine’s day he hated mornings. but he loved his friends. and he loved free food provided by taekwoon. he would certainly survive.

“it’s valentine’s day, goofy.” hongbin said, checking his text messages.

“i didn’t ask, babe.” sanghyuk sighed around a mouth full of sprinkles and chocolate icing. he loved donuts. best food in the history of food.

“someone tell wonshik to put his shoes on, we all know he can’t detach himself from his phone to save his life. we’ll be late if he isn’t already sitting on his porch by the time i pull up.” taekwoon spoke, turning out onto the main street a little too sharply. he was a sort of shit driver but the only one that owned a car, so by default he ended up being the designated driver. hongbin could only pray they didn’t end up slamming into someone’s mailbox one day.

wonshik perked up once taekwoon pulled up across the street from his house, shoving his phone in his pocket and running over to the car.

“don’t do it..” hongbin pleaded.

“oh i’m gonna do it.” taekwoon giggled, hand already resting on the dial controlling the lock mechanism of the car doors. he locked them all right before wonshik yanked on the small handle, making the younger boy roll his eyes dramatically.

“guys! you do this every morning! it’s not funny anymore!” wonshik called way too loudly for the hour of the morning as his best friends laughed hysterically at him.

“it’s still funny!” hongbin said, everyone screaming dramatically when wonshik lifted his sweater and flashed his abs.

“BLEGH! IM GONNA HURL!” sanghyuk cried.

“aw come on, just because you’re asexual doesn’t mean you can deny that my abs and tattoos are hot.” wonshik said once he was finally allowed inside the car, snatching his coffee a little too excitedly from hongbin.

“actually that’s exactly what it means.” sanghyuk responded, shaking his head disappointedly as taekwoon sped away from the curb.

hongbin snatched taekwoon’s phone when he picked it up, eyes going wide as wonshik shoved a condom in his face.

“what the fuck?!” hongbin half yelled.

“oh come on, you didn’t think we forgot did you?” wonshik said.

“i am not included in this conversation.” sanghyuk muttered.

“it’s for your special time with kyungsoo! take it!” taekwoon smiled, cracking his knuckles before taking the wheel into his hands again.

“i cannot believe you guys.” hongbin snatched the condom from wonshik and shoved it into his bag, his entire face burning with embarrassment.

“better safe than sorry!” wonshik said, reaching up to kiss hongbin’s cheek before sitting back and quickly clicking his seatbelt into place when taekwoon cut someone off.

**********

they walked in as a group, arms linked together. a few students were holding red roses, probably for the little event that was planned in celebration of the holiday.

“hey, what do you guys think about-“

“hongbin.”

four sets of eyes traveled to the source of the voice, hongbin’s heart rate picking up when he realized who had called. his boyfriend.

“we’ll be over here when you’re done with him, kyungsoo.” taekwoon said cheerily, dragging sanghyuk and wonshik away so hongbin could have his moment.

“good morning.” kyungsoo chuckled, watching them go.

“good morning!” wonshik yelled, winching when sanghyuk punched him and told him to shut up.

“i missed you.” hongbin spoke, taking kyungsoo’s hands once he finally stood before him.

“i missed you more.”

“nuh-uh.”

“yuh-huh.”

“you’re such a fucking dork.” hongbin giggled.

“only when we’re alone, can’t let everyone know i have a soft spot for you.” kyungsoo responded, making the blush on hongbin’s cheeks spread to the tips of his ears.

hongbin had been crushing on kyungsoo since the dawn of time but they only started dating last summer because kyungsoo liked to be flexible and hongbin was not interested in having an open relationship. hongbin eventually broke him down and the rest was history. seven months to be exact.

“you never come to school before first period, what’s different about today?”

“i just wanted to make sure i wished you happy cupid day in person, sweetheart.”

wonshik squealed across the hall and taekwoon had to put a hand on sanghyuk’s chest to stop him from grabbing his neck.

“you’re so gay.”

“hongbin~”

“so gay!” hongbin shook his head, leaning back against the wall as kyungsoo smiled and stepped closer.

“let’s be serious.”

“okay.”

“still want to go through with our plans for later?”

hongbin’s heart was racing again. the whole thing was wonshik’s idea, the bastard, and valentine’s day had always meant a lot to hongbin so the fact that he planned to go all the way with kyungsoo that night just seemed to fit. he was tired of being teased by taekwoon and wonshik, who actively had sex, and he wanted to know what the experience felt like. it was their last year of high school and kyungsoo was experienced, he knew what to do. everything would probably be fine.

but hongbin was nervous as all living hell.

“of course i do.” hongbin spoke nonchalantly, students entering the large hallway as the starting time for first period drew closer and closer.

“good, i cleaned my room.”

“aw, aren’t you just an angel? do you want a kiss for finally doing what you should be doing anyway?” hongbin cooed, grinning when kyungsoo squeezed his hands and moved so close their noses brushed together. he glanced over his boyfriend’s shoulder and blinked slowly when he saw hakyeon passing by.

the older boy almost smiled but then he saw kyungsoo and his lips pinched together. they started at each other uncertainly before hongbin broke the moment and went back to kyungsoo’s eyes.

hakyeon and hongbin had grown up together, they were best friends up until fourth grade. that’s when he met taekwoon and decided popularity was very entertaining. the two hadn’t talked much since that time and hongbin spent a lot of time avoiding the older boy because he had a very obvious crush on him and hongbin did not want to be bothered. plus he was officially taken, so it didn’t make a difference anymore.

“give me a kiss, i gotta go.”

“no you don’t, you can skip.”

“you’re out of your mind if you think i’ll ever miss class, my perfect attendance record did not create itself.”

“nerd.”

“jock. come on! make my morning! kiss me!”

“say please.”

hongbin rolled his eyes before giving in when he noticed taekwoon waving and pointing to his watch.

“pretty please give me a kiss.”

when hongbin finally returned to his friends he had the stupidest smile on his face. wonshik was relentless in his teasing.

“stop daydreaming about his tongue.” sanghyuk said as they traveled to their classes.

“you’re just mad because you don’t like tongues,” wonshik said, eyes glued to his phone as he played tetris.

“if you say one more word to me i will annihilate-“

“guys! look at all the roses!” hongbin called, looking down into the gymnasium from ceiling to floor windows in front of them. first-year students in various colored tutu’s were moving between the tables that were lined up, talking together and lying roses into large baskets. some of them had little slips of paper tied to them, some did not.

“how many roses did you get last year, taek?” hongbin asked.

“twenty, i’m going for thirty this year.” taekwoon replied confidently. he was without a doubt the prettiest and most popular of their group, it could only be expected that he got the most roses on valentine’s day. “i better get one from chanyeol or i will snap his pretty little neck.”

“i had to force kyungsoo to fill out the form but at least i know i’ll get one from him.” hongbin hummed.

“any is a vibe.” wonshik replied. “the majority of them will probably be from girls.”

“minseok gave me a dozen and took me on a shopping spree last year,” sanghyuk said softly, hands clutching his jacket.

“minseok? gods hyukkie i thought we talked about this.” taekwoon groaned, letting his head fall against the glass with a soft thud.

“sanghyuk..” wonshik started, sounding careful for once in his life. “minseok is no good for you, he did not treat you right.”

“i know but-“

“no but’s, i told you that you don’t need him or any other guy. you have us and we love you. got me?” hongbin said, pushing a strand of hair behind sanghyuk’s ear.

“got you.” sanghyuk said, frowning softly as he let himself be pulled into a warm group hug. his heart was still tender. the breakup was only two weeks ago but his friends were helping him get through it. “i love you guys.”

“we love you too.” taekwoon said, kissing sanghyuk’s forehead before they all split up at the first bell.

hongbin was still turning the morning's events over in his mind by third period, a new sketch of taekwoon etched into a spare page in his notebook where he should have been taking history notes. hongbin did not like history. he did like the small pile of roses on his desk that was steadily growing larger and larger.

hakyeon opened and closed the classroom door loudly when he entered, effectively interrupting mr. han’s lecture and getting everyone’s attention.

“class started fifteen minutes ago, mr. cha.”

“sorry there was a minor situation in the chemistry lab, small explosion. i have a note.”

“was anyone hurt?”

“uh, my notes. but other than that no.” hakyeon said, passing hongbin to get to his desk as everyone laughed softly. hakyeon had that effect on people, making them feel comfortable and at ease.

“glad to hear, i’ll carry on then.” mr. han said as he turned back to the board. “as i was saying-“

three first-years entered the room, baskets full of roses hanging from their arms.

“we have val-a-grams, sorry to interrupt.”

“no worries, go right ahead.” mr. han replied, letting his students have a moment to enjoy the little break because they were not paying much attention anyway.

hongbin perked up, foot tapping against the floor lightly as he watched one of the students approach his desk. he picked the rose up as soon as it was laid down, opening the little slip of paper and reading the note attached. it was simple, nothing more than a heart with the note, _happy cupid day,_ written in kyungsoo’s handwriting. hongbin’s heart soared at the bare minimum expression of affection, knowing how strict his boyfriend could be. he had to be a tough guy in front of the public eye, the only time he was vulnerable was when he and hongbin were alone or in front of his friends. the note was a lot, coming from him.

“is that from kyungsoo?” chanyeol asked, smirking slightly as six roses were placed on his desk.

“yeah.” hongbin said happily, twirling the rose between his fingers with a soft smile.

when the person that had given him his first rose returned hongbin’s smile faded and he sat up straighter. he’d already gotten what he wanted, what more could there be?

two more roses, one solid white and one looking as if it had been painted both red and white were placed on his desk. mr. han attempted to get the class under control again, telling everyone to flip their books to the next page for a visual on whatever he was talking about.

the white one didn’t have a note but the other one did, hongbin pursed his lips as he read it.

_“sunflowers follow the sun, i will follow you.”_

hongbin stared ahead of himself as he tried to process the message. he stopped his sunflower phase when he met taekwoon because he told him sunflowers were for babies and if he wanted to be his friend he needed to grow up. that day hongbin had his parents help him redecorate his entire room, painting over the sunflowers that were customized onto his wall, changing his bedspread and bathroom towels, he even got new hair clips. sanghyuk and wonshik didn’t come along until eighth grade so they wouldn’t have known about it. the only other person who would even bother to remember the fact that hongbin used to give his teacher a fresh sunflower every morning would be...hakyeon.

he felt eyes on the back of his neck and when hongbin turned around hakyeon gave him a nervous smile. hongbin practically ran out of the room at the bell, zipping his bag shut and greeting someone who gave him a quick hello. a first-year got all of their books knocked out of their hands and one person fell after they tripped. hongbin checked his phone quickly before shoving it in his jacket pocket.

“hongbin!”

he did not slow down.

“hey! hongbin!”

he slowed down and eventually stopped because if he didn’t acknowledge him hakyeon would follow him all day. he sighed softly before turning around.

“hey.” hakyeon spoke softly.

“hi.”

“you got a lot of roses.” 

“i did.”

“some of them stand out more than others.”

“what do you want, hakyeon?”

“my mom is out of town as of this morning, i’m having a party.”

“good for you.” hongbin deadpanned. he could really be a bitch if he wanted.

“um, do you think you can make it?”

“can’t.”

“are you sure?”

“certain, i’m busy! sorry!” hongbin said, turning and walking away.

“well if you decide to come you know where my house is!”

“i don’t think i will but thanks!” hongbin called over his shoulder, making his way to the lunchroom.

sanghyuk and taekwoon were going back and forth about something irrelevant, wonshik playing footsies with hongbin under the table as they ate together. first-years were still passing out roses, hakyeon was talking to his friends excitedly about something across the room and kyungsoo was laughing at something stupid chanyeol had said. everything was balanced.

ailee passed their table and taekwoon stared at her over one of his roses until she looked away.

“did you guys hear?” sanghyuk set his cola down on the table and slapped wonshik’s hand when he reached for it. “ailee got caught cheating on her girlfriend.”

“what?” wonshik asked, eyes wide.

“caught? more like exposed. that sounds like taekwoon’s doing.” hongbin said.

“i’m an angel, i do nothing but good deeds for all.” taekwoon hummed, playing in his blonde extensions with a cunning smile. “i deserve an award, some type of prize. maybe a sunflower, like the ones hongbin used to have all over his room. remember?”

“i remember. i also remember you telling me they were for babies and making me change my entire identity.”

“and look where you are today! a star student with all the attention you could want and a hot boyfriend. you’ll thank me one of these days, bin.”

“whatever.” hongbin smiled softly, wiping his mouth with the edge of his napkin.

“butterfly effect,” sanghyuk said suddenly, three sets of eyes falling on his face.

“what?” wonshik asked, stuffing another french fry in his mouth.

“a butterfly flapping its wings could cause a major hurricane, you know, every action has consequences! if taek hadn’t exposed the truth ailee would have kept cheating and her girlfriend wouldn’t have found out the truth when she did. ailee wouldn’t have gotten dumped on cupid day. but since he did, we are living in the reality that ailee is single and bitter! it’s super interesting.” sanghyuk smiled, fingers playing with a frayed portion of his black jeans.

“you read too much,” wonshik said.

“you read too little, dumbass.” sanghyuk spat.

“that is interesting.” hongbin added.

“yes, if you want to bore yourself to death.” taekwoon sighed.

“lee hongbin.” kyungsoo said, hand settling on the back of his chair as he set the roses he was holding on the table. hongbin was grinning like an idiot before he even saw his boyfriend’s face.

“hi kyungsoo.” taekwoon sang.

“hey! we haven’t seen you since this morning-“ wonshik started.

“shut the hell up.” sanghyuk practically growled, hitting him in his chest so hard he almost choked.

“missed you.” hongbin said softly, pinching kyungsoo’s cheek when he almost kissed him but pulled away at the last second.

“get my gift?”

“i did, it was very sweet.” hongbin hummed. “who are these from?” he asked, catching one of the notes attached to the pile of roses his boyfriend had brought over between his small fingers.

“your competition.”

that hurt. or struck a nerve. that hurt and struck a nerve, but hongbin didn’t show it. he knew his boyfriend was popular and got a lot of attention, being the head of the soccer team would do that for you in their small town, so he took it with a grain of salt. plus kyungsoo was only teasing. they were official, he had nothing to be concerned about.

“you better take care of him or i’ll cut you.” sanghyuk said, not at all joking.

“no worries, i’d never hurt such a beautiful flower.” kyungsoo flashed that smile that made hongbin’s knees weak.

“gay...” hongbin chuckled as kyungsoo kissed him, fingers running through his hair gently before he pulled away. “wait, did you hear about that party later? are you gonna go?”

“do you wanna go?”

“it might be fun, plus i know how you are about beer.”

“i’ll see you there then, stay pretty.” kyungsoo titled hongbin’s chin up with one of his fingers before saying goodbye to the others and leaving.

“sickening!” sanghyuk responded once kyungsoo was out of earshot, hongbin staring at the ceiling with a dazed expression.

“you guys are precious.” taekwoon spoke around a mouth full of celery.

“you better tell us about tonight!” wonshik said way too loudly.

“shut up!” hongbin groaned, hands flying over his face to cover flushed cheeks as they all laughed.

taekwoon’s smile faded as he looked up, leaning on the edge of his seat when he saw jaehwan coming closer to their table. his head was down, tattered art bag hanging from his shoulder, blue tray gripped between pale fingers. he looked like if someone yelled too loudly he would fall apart. scared. uncomfortable.

“here comes the witch.” taekwoon cooed, humming when jaehwan caught his eyes before staring down at the floor again.

“he’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday, sick.” sanghyuk said, sipping his cola. “bet they haven’t even been washed yet.”

wonshik made an obtrusive sound and jaehwan jumped as he passed them, hongbin letting out a pretend shocked scream that resembled a character getting caught by a killer in a scary movie. taekwoon stuck his foot out and snickered when the younger boy tripped over it.

“omg! i almost forgot, guys, he got a rose.” sanghyuk spoke suddenly.

“what?! from who?!” wonshik said.

“i don’t know, but he stuffed it into his bag after he read the note.” sanghyuk responded, almost shoving wonshik out of his chair when he reached for his drink again.

“what do you think it said?” hongbin asked curiously.

“your guess is as good as mine.” taekwoon answered, deciding not to tell his friends about the words he shared with jaehwan.

**********

“wait! stop at the store!” sanghyuk yelled.

taekwoon sighed dramatically and stared at him from the rearview mirror. “what the fuck for?! we have to go get ready-“

“my sister needs tamps!”

“tamps?”

“tampons?” hongbin questioned, looking back at sanghyuk. “krystal started her period?”

“yes, good lord.” sanghyuk sighed.

“you buy me a pack of twizzlers and we have a deal.” taekwoon said, pulling into the parking lot of the nearest department store.

“bet!”

fifteen minutes later sanghyuk was knocking on his parents’ bathroom door with a paper bag full of three types of tampons and four types of medicine because wonshik said all his older sisters took meds for their periods. and a stuffed animal because krystal loved stuffed animals.

the door was open and sanghyuk parted his lips to speak but a hand shot out and snatched the bag before he got the chance to get one word out and then the door was being slammed in his face again. he took a deep breath because his baby sister did not need more bullshit.

“krystal, please thank me for buying what you needed and something to cheer you up.”

“thank you. now fuck off.” a small voice spoke from behind the door.

sanghyuk let taekwoon drag him out of the room before he went crazy, tension leaving his body once he entered his room and saw that hongbin and wonshik were getting ready and someone was playing their hype playlist.

“wait! wait. peach blush, not cherry.” taekwoon said an hour later, snatching the makeup brush from sanghyuk and tilting hongbin’s face towards him. hongbin fiddled with sanghyuk’s stress ball as taekwoon worked on him, wonshik playing in his hair before settling down to braid it into a pretty little crown. sanghyuk took several group photos of them a little while later, freshly cut hair tied up into an apple-style ponytail. wonshik got a little too rowdy and shoved taekwoon off the bed at some point, causing sanghyuk to tell them to cut that shit out because roughhousing in his bedroom was not allowed.

eventually, hongbin ended up dressed in a denim skirt and a black long-sleeved crop top, fishnets hugging his thighs as he tied the combat boots sanghyuk rarely wore anymore.

“hongbin! get your ass in here!” taekwoon called from sanghyuk’s bathroom, sending the younger into action after he spaced out again.

“yeah?” hongbin asked, hopping onto the counter.

“how you feeling doll? still up for tonight?”

hongbin fell silent quickly. if they were all together it would have gone unnoticed, but it was just the two of them. taekwoon was being serious.

“nervous.” hongbin eventually whispered, as if that would hide the fear bouncing around inside his heart.

taekwoon snapped the plastic lid back on his lipstick and stared at himself for a few more moments before turning to face hongbin. he was stunning. if they weren’t best friends hongbin would probably have more than platonic feelings for him.

“assuming kyungsoo has half a brain, he will have lube. if he doesn’t you use what i gave you. and bring the bottle back, i got a new one just for you.”

“thank you, taek.”

“of course.” taekwoon said, playing with the frayed sleeves of the shirt hongbin was wearing. “look at me, try not to tense up. make him hold your hand or something, it’ll distract you if it hurts.”

“it might not hurt?”

“it’ll probably burn and you’ll likely be sore after, but even if he does everything perfectly and finger you to death it could still hurt when you start. it might not. depends. and make him go at your pace or tell him sanghyuk will cut him up with the new katana his parents got him for his birthday.”

hongbin giggled and shoved taekwoon’s hands away once he started tickling him, smiling softly at his best friend.

“taek, seriously. thank you.”

“no problem, you know i’m here for you. now let’s get going before sanghyuk and wonshik try killing each other again.” taekwoon smiled, leaving hongbin alone for a few moments to look in the mirror.

by the time they wandered out to the car it had started drizzling again, hongbin making taekwoon pay extra close attention because of how dark the roads got at night. hongbin took in the lit exterior of hakyeon’s house as they approached, hugging his coat around himself as sanghyuk gripped his hand tightly.

there was music playing but it wasn’t too loud, everyone had red solo cups, there was food nicely organized in the kitchen. hongbin grinned as sanghyuk hugged him, the four friends making their way to the center of the dance floor together. hongbin just let the younger hold him from behind for a while until wonshik squeezed between them, and then taekwoon was beckoning hongbin over as he smiled. alcohol was already prominent on his breath, he must have stolen someone’s cup when hongbin wasn’t looking. hongbin made a mental note to ask if he could drive them home. taekwoon usually said no but it was worth a shot since he didn’t want anything to drink.

a little while later taekwoon cupped hongbin’s cheeks, pulling him close.

“i’m gonna go find chanyeol, yeah?” taekwoon half-shouted over the music.

“okay! go ahead!” hongbin replied, fiddling with his phone once he realized he was alone. he glanced at all the people moving around him and noticed hakyeon talking to some girl. he regretted it the moment their eyes met.

“hey! hongbin!” hakyeon called, face lighting up. hongbin practically ran to the kitchen, really not in the mood to be bothered. he was happy to find kyungsoo standing against a counter, he was not happy to see minseok next to him.

“fuck off, i need to speak to my boyfriend.” hongbin spat. minseok rolled his eyes before leaving them alone. minseok had put sanghyuk through all types of hell, he was lucky hongbin didn’t feel like fighting at that moment or he would have beaten his ass.

“pretty boy, i’ve been looking for you.” kyungsoo sang, a drunk smile playing on his lips. he smelled like alcohol too. hongbin hated it.

“you’ve been looking for me? wh- okay! okay we are not alone, do not do that again.” hongbin said, quickly pulling his shirt back down after kyungsoo yanked it upwards. luckily everyone else in the kitchen was minding their own business or someone would have seen hongbin’s bare chest. “look at me, do not do that again.”

“i got you i got you don’t worry hey you look really hot tonight-“

“how many beers have you had?” hongbin asked, pushing kyungsoo’s hands away when they snaked out for him again. he was on edge, gripping his phone a little too tightly. he needed to calm his heart rate.

“two.”

“liar.”

kyungsoo giggled and it relieved a lot of the tension hongbin was holding onto. he hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable and he said he wouldn’t do it again. they were okay. things were okay.

hongbin took a deep breath and gave in when kyungsoo held out his hands, offering touch rather than just grabbing at him again. their fingers intertwined and hongbin let kyungsoo into his personal space.

“i’m sorry about that.”

“you better be, if you ever do that again i’ll kill you.”

“i won’t, it would be unfortunate if i died before getting the chance to deflower you first.”

“perv.” hongbin mumbled, relaxing a bit more as kyungsoo kissed him softly.

“you just text me when you’re ready.”

“okay.”

“stay out of trouble.” kyungsoo said, leaving one more kiss on hongbin’s temple before leaving him alone.

hongbin found himself alone quite often. alone physically, alone with his thoughts, alone with his emotions. he was about to start overthinking but then he found taekwoon trying to swallow chanyeol’s face and sanghyuk splayed out on wonshik’s lap as they played some game on his phone together. his heart warmed at the sight of his friends.

“bin! come here we miss you!” wonshik called, groaning when sanghyuk elbowed him in his ribs.

“why?!”

“you yelled in my ear. not cool man.” sanghyuk chastised.

“my bad...” wonshik grumbled.

“hey, go get me another drink? vodka please.” taekwoon smiled, slapping chanyeol’s ass once he got up from the couch. “binbin!”

“oh, now you noticed me sitting here? how’s that tongue taste? hm?”

“like cherry cola.” taekwoon giggled hysterically, pulling hongbin close to lean against his chest. they looked happy there together, wonshik and taekwoon drunk off their asses, sanghyuk only slightly buzzed and hongbin completely sober.

“hey we’re seniors,” sanghyuk said suddenly, killing everyone’s vibe.

“oh fuck off! why would you say that?!” taekwoon complained.

“it’s true! we’re about to graduate.” sanghyuk frowned. “you stingy bitches...don’t be mad at me cause we’re not second-years anymore!”

“taek is just mad cause he’s a hag,” wonshik said.

“you’ll all be the same age as me by next spring, but pop off i guess.” taekwoon chuckled, playing with hongbin’s fingers.

“graduation & aging...when did we become so gloomy?” hongbin asked before laughing at himself.

“good point, let’s spice it up with some optimism.” wonshik smiled. “high school has been quite entertaining, all thanks to our leader.”

“of course, i couldn’t let my babies miss out on all the fun.” taekwoon responded, biting at hongbin’s ear before he got slapped lightly in the face and told to cut it out. wonshik was in the middle of laughing at something sanghyuk said when he saw jaehwan enter the room, smile shifting into pure shock.

“holy. shit.” wonshik said.

“who the hell invited the demon?” sanghyuk mumbled, taking a very small sip out of wonshik’s cup even though he had his own. “i thought hakyeon’s mom was like major catholic or some shit.”

jaehwan came further into the room, red light bathing his wavy blonde hair in a sinister glow as he tried to pretend he was looking for something. his hands were shaking under his long sleeves, heart beating erratically in his chest. he looked directly at taekwoon and quirked his eyebrow as if to say, _“not gonna come get me?”_ , and suddenly hongbin was being told to get up as his best friend tapped his shoulder lightly. hongbin was nervous again but they were at a party, he had to be cool. telling taekwoon not to go to jaehwan would be embarrassing for everyone, especially since he seemed to want his attention so badly he was openly staring. maybe they would just talk. taekwoon was not a fighter. it would be fine.

sanghyuk and wonshik were giggling, which made hongbin smile. what was he so worried about? jaehwan was a nobody. this would be resolved within minutes and they’d get back to their wholesome chat. hongbin was considering having a drink as well, just to help with his nerves since they kept running away from him. his friends were chill, he needed to chill as well.

taekwoon bit his lip as he approached jaehwan, having the advantage of being an inch or two taller because of his pumps.

“hey, ken.”

jaehwan bit the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood. that name was a distant memory. no one had called him that since his dad left, he even had it legally changed so teachers wouldn’t have the chance to mess it up. that was a personal attack but at least no one else was close enough to hear taekwoon say it. jaehwan distantly remembered the note on the rose he got in class earlier that day, _ken do it!_ written across the card in taekwoon’s handwriting. he wanted to bite his face off.

“you’re a long way from home, came to beg for forgiveness? if you play nice i’ll tell everyone to treat you a little better.”

“i haven’t done anything to you, bitch.” jaehwan spoke lowly. “you owe me an apology.”

“oh my my my! you sound so scary~call me a bitch again. let’s see if you get the reaction you want.” taekwoon was actually surprised, jaehwan did not usually talk that much if he talked at all. but even he could see the fire burning in those eyes. he couldn’t wait to blow it out.

“say sorry.”

“excuse me?”

“apologize.” jaehwan half-yelled, causing the playfulness in taekwoon’s eyes to fade as his best friends came closer.

“you better watch yourself.” taekwoon said, the threat obvious in his voice. people were starting to stare now, a small crowd slowly but surely closing in around them.

“watch myself? like all those men who watched your mommy when your daddy wasn’t home? hm?” jaehwan said, knowing he struck a nerve but taekwoon had been striking his nerves since the fourth grade so god dammit he deserved it. all of his friends did.

“you,” he turned to sanghyuk, “you’re an attention seeker. you’re an alcoholic.” he said after turning to wonshik. jaehwan turned to face hongbin, nose turning up like he was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen. hongbin was back on that pretty little edge again, pebbles falling into rushing water below. the situation was definitely not chill.

“and you’re just the fakest bitch of all.” it hit like a slap to the face, hongbin’s heart jumping into his throat as taekwoon stepped in front of him.

“you’re just a bitch, taekwoon. an evil little bitch.” jaehwan said, voice rising again.

“i’d rather be a bitch with my friends than a psychopath five steps away from being placed in a mental institution.“ taekwoon said. the red light made the entire ordeal more dramatic. it was like a warning, telling them to take caution but no one paid it any mind. “you sit alone all day every day and you have for the last nine years. you don’t have anybody. you’re alone. i keep good company, who gives a damn if i’m a bitch?”

“exactly, you look like you live in a fucking barn.” sanghyuk said, fingers playing in wonshik’s hair as they closed in on jaehwan. hongbin stayed behind taekwoon, he was still trying to calm himself down.

“i’d rather be an alcoholic than a nobody,” wonshik added.

“does anyone even know you’re here? does anyone care? i don’t think so.” taekwoon spoke, looking jaehwan up and down angrily. his temper was starting to get the best of him. hongbin felt something growing but he couldn’t tell what it was. he shoved his anxiety aside for a moment, coming into jaehwan’s view just to stare him down. he was fucking with his friends and that wasn’t cool.

“go mop the floor or something, make the rags you call clothes useful,” he said, letting the venom he usually kept hidden spill into his voice.

“maniac.” sanghyuk spat.

“crazy bitch,” wonshik added.

“go home, psycho.” taekwoon said, pushing jaehwan out of his personal space. the younger tripped over someone’s foot, his chest rising and falling visibly as he continued to step backward.

that thing hongbin felt building snapped all at once.

the moment taekwoon turned away jaehwan lunged at him, dragging his nails down his bare arm and drawing blood. wonshik shoved him off and he fell into someone’s chest, that person pushing him off as well. taekwoon was bleeding a lot, holding his arm to his chest like he’d been shot.

“are you fucking crazy? huh?” taekwoon yelled properly now, snatching sanghyuk’s drink and throwing the full cup into jaehwan’s face. the younger gasped as his vision blurred, his hair sticking to his forehead as the cup fell to the floor. “we called you psycho as a joke but you really have lost your damn mind!”

one more person dumped their drink onto jaehwan, then another. pretty soon everyone was throwing their cups at him, his wide eyes flying around the room as he trembled with fear. hongbin crossed his arms, yelling _“psycho!”_ once or twice just because his friends had done the same. by the time jaehwan could see again he was completely drenched in alcohol. a bunch of people had their phones out, some were pointing, and jaehwan realized he didn’t have anyone at that moment. he was alone like taekwoon said. it broke his heart.

jaehwan stilled for a few seconds before turning and running out the back door, hair flying behind him as he headed for the woods. his plan was a bad idea, the worst idea.

taekwoon screamed in frustration, a few people turning and eyeing him suspiciously.

“taek, it’s okay.” sanghyuk said, making him look at him but he wasn’t actually there. anger was clouding his brain. he hadn’t gotten that mad in a long time.

hakyeon was there all of a sudden, tugging hongbin’s arm.

“what happened?!” hakyeon half yelled, hongbin pushing his hands away from him.

“don’t touch me and i don’t know, he just started yelling at taekwoon-“

“so you and your friends start a screaming match in my living room and run him off? you get physically violent?!”

“taekwoon is the only person with any type of visible scars from this so you can get out of my face with that bullshit, leave me the fuck alone.”

chanyeol was there, sanghyuk talking softly to taekwoon and wonshik cleaning and wrapping his arm up with some bandages someone found. the whole thing had gotten too out of control. too much happened too fast. hongbin’s anxiety was running the show at that point, he couldn’t focus on anything.

“hongbin-“

“leave me alone.” hongbin said, ending the conversation. once taekwoon was all wrapped up he stalked over to hongbin and grabbed his hand, pulling him as sanghyuk and wonshik trailed behind. they were leaving. no more party.

as they passed the kitchen hongbin briefly saw kyungsoo talking to his ex but he was too distracted to feel anything about it at that moment, simply letting sanghyuk push him out to the car. hongbin was too stressed to ask to drive so he let taekwoon do it, taking comfort in the fact that his hand was still being held because his best friend knew how anxious he could get during high energy situations. pressure was still weighing on them but it all but faded when wonshik hooked his phone up to the aux and started playing one of his favorite lo-fi tunes. the soft beats helped lull everyone into a calm state of mind, even taekwoon who had been practically vibrating with rage was calm. the windshield wipers moved back and forth as the skies cried, and hongbin took a deep breath for the first time in a long time.

“that was wild.” sanghyuk breathed, letting wonshik lean on his shoulder.

“hey, can i still ask hyukkie to cut up kyungsoo with his katana? for talking to that whore after he promised me he wouldn’t anymore?” hongbin whined, taekwoon smiling at his tone.

“of course you can doll.” taekwoon cooed.

“who am i cutting? i've been practicing you know, my blade has cherry blossoms on it now. krystal customized the hilt.” sanghyuk yawned.

“your little sister is a badass.” wonshik grinned, scrolling through his playlist. “hey, can we get food? ramen sounds so good right now.”

“ramen always sounds good when you’re drunk, shikkie.” taekwoon shook his head, squeezing hongbin’s hand gently. this was okay, they were getting back into their normal flow. hongbin felt safe again. they would figure out whatever the fuck happened later, probably over breakfast because taekwoon was an amazing cook, and everything would be fine. jaehwan...jaewhan wouldn’t try anything like that again. hongbin would make sure of it. he had failed to protect taekwoon who had protected him so many times because of his nerves but he wouldn’t freeze up on him like that again. he would guard his best friend with his life.

“hey, binbin. i’m talking to you.” taekwoon called.

“hm? what is it?”

“i said are you good? you’ve been staring out the window since we got in the car.”

sanghyuk and wonshik were back to bickering but it was light, no real bite behind their words, just playful energy. hongbin was decidedly good.

“yeah.” hongbin responded, tugging his seatbelt gently before giving taekwoon a reassuring smile. it was true. he did feel good in that moment with his friends.

taekwoon bobbed his head to the music, letting the song take everything he was worried about away. hongbin watched with a soft smile, kicking off his boots and wiggling his toes. wonshik was asleep and sanghyuk had his eyes closed, hongbin had a stupidly large smile on his face, and taekwoon was trying not to giggle. they would be okay.

no one noticed that taekwoon was driving too fast again, speeding past a deer hiding behind a tree and startling it so much that it dashed right back into the thick wood it had emerged from. one car drove by, a truck following it two minutes later. hongbin was always oddly aware of the time, he’d unconsciously picked up the habit of counting seconds in his head to help calm his anxiety. he was about to start thinking again but then sanghyuk asked what time it was and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, clicking the button on the side to make the screen light up.

“twelve fifty-nine.” hongbin responded.

“thanks. did you see how angry he was? i wonder what pushed him over the edge.” sanghyuk mumbled.

“hell if i know.” taekwoon said. he knew exactly what pushed jaehwan but his friends didn’t have to know. they didn’t have to share the weight of the reaction he provoked. that was on him. that was his demon to sort out on his own time.

hongbin kept his eyes on his phone, watching as the next hour began. one a.m. was not his favorite time to be awake but they would all be sleeping soon enough. a text from kyungsoo flashed across the screen and in a split second everything changed.

taekwoon gasped as the hood made contact, his tires skidding as he lost control of the wheel and then they were turning over and over and over, airbags went off, they went up and down. the last thing hongbin could remember was the sound of the windshield shattering and the feeling of his seatbelt digging into his ribcage as he hung upside down.

**********

hongbin woke with a gasp, brow furrowing as he stared at his bedroom ceiling. mr. brightside was playing, a purple origami butterfly was on top of his comforter, he was wearing his favorite hoodie. his phone chimed with a text from taekwoon, _rise and shine! happy valentine’s day binbin! <3, _ and hongbin sat up on his elbows. he saw the time on the clock hanging on the opposite wall and quickly grabbed his cell phone to unplug it. he silenced his alarm and stared in confusion, images running through his head like a kaleidoscope.

he and taekwoon and sanghyuk and wonshik went to hakyeon’s party, they were having a good time then jaehwan was there, jaehwan attacked taekwoon, they left, they were on the way to sanghyuk's and then they got into an accident. that was...a dream. it had to be a dream. it couldn’t have happened, because hongbin wouldn’t have woken up in bed if it did. he would certainly be waking up in the hospital if he survived an accident that bad. right? and if he didn’t survive...he wouldn’t have woken up at all.

hongbin glanced over his shoulder and picked up the butterfly, staring intensely at it as he worried his bottom lip. sanghyuk’s words replayed in his head, _a butterfly flapping its wings could cause a major hurricane, you know, every action has consequences,_ and hongbin fell back against his pillows as he played with the gift his little sister had created just for him.


End file.
